complicated.... love......

its just lame to blog bout the same things in life again n again..but guess wat... the saga continues... i always taught what i c in da movies is just fake...but when i got a first hand experience in it ....then i realised.... yup... i have gone through it 2.... the first time i saw u was last year.... first week of mei ..orientation... yup i agree its not love at first sight...i got to know u much from people..thats when da feelings blossomed... always i just wanted to say things to u...but talkin to u is just a problem.... my balls shrink, n definitely threre's n adrenaline rush...we texted each other...i believe da day i first text u is da day i started to annoy u.... even it may b da most irritating time of ur life,..... i enjoyed every single second n moment of it..i dunno if da feelings blosssomed in u or wat...but it definitely it grew in me... things went way round of wat was expected..... i started defocus in my life... amples of crapping, time wasted, n all.... all was in my mind is u.....after a year i was pretty confident .... things will go n well for u n me... but yup it turn all sour... nowdays u dont seem to layan me like those days u do...emoness feel my life..if u take in account n c each n every post i psoted in my blog...sure in sum part... u will b there..alll da heartbreaking moments, sweet ones n all... fuck.... i just can blurt out tings to u..im just to scared .... yup i paid da price for that...ur off n no more for me now...,.wen i saw that da first time ...i was so broken... man luck never seem to b on my side..sumtimes i tell to myself that its u or no life for me....but i have to b realistic now.... there is life after u....definitely..if tisis gone to..i have to rejuvenate.... yeah man....its GAME OVER... ur wif sumone who will cherish n take good care of u forever,,, while me ..... growing beard,...n on da verge of taking alcohol.... to forget u...but da wounds that have cut deep in my can never b treated......everytime... i stand up straight.... i say to myself i wanna talk to u... but when i c u...i just get scared of... n never do it...im basically a coward in my life...a coward who is just scared to approach u..the chances was taken by people...who i can say almost on da verge of victory...i have started living in da world that i believe u n me r together...but nope ...ur not meant for me... its just over...it will b easy said that i will forget you...but the truth is no...i just cant forget u.... when i was given da exam papers.....i just wanna write ur name on da answer sheeth... cause all i can think is ur name.,.... but beleive me...its nver goin to b easy....yup every single second of my life im tinking bout u...even to this particular second....i do want to tell u how i feeell..... but i just dun have da guts for it...... u will never understand me...but for sure one day u will know bout me...n wat im goin through ...da images , da sacrifice n a pain...its just complicated..... there it goes ..another tragic end of another story..... i just cant understand..... i had so many things in my heart to pour out..... everyday i have been suffering....but i guesss its da love for u which has blinded me....but ..haiz...u will never know anything.... tears dropping internally.... i guess i have to cherish the ones who .love me..than cherishing the ones i love who dun love me in back... gudbye....n LOVE U.forever..... i dedicate this post for u baby...... sayo nara..... n all da best in ur life.... unimaginable life...... sobz.......

Sick

throat swab n blood test results

nope...not sick of life, sick of love ,sick of people neitheir sick of skool...im sick now... it all started last week friday...after lepaking wif aiman... reached home quite late...by nite..my body was aching....my mom said i goin to get fever...my sis got fever two days ago... i went to sleep early tat morning.. da next day wen i got up.... i felt very heavy..body ached liked hell..i got up n got my self prepared to go for SDJ IU.. i was so weak ..after IU went tuition... nothing seem to enter my head... wen i reached home..i got myself changed n off i went to bed..dad woke me up n brought me to da clinic...da doctor took my temp n it was 38.8..oww goodness... i was afraid it was H1N1... he asked me not to worry n c wat happens next few days... today.. wen i got up...im still having fever...dad was worried n rushed me to da clinic... i was checked for H1N1..throat swab n blood test was taken...after a few minutes i was asked to c da dcotor again wif da results..wen i n my dad enterd da room..da doctor exclaimed..its not a good news..gosh all i could think was im infected..but it seems its not H1N1 but my blood platlets level has gone down significanlty...meanig it might b denggi...damn hell... just last january before da skool term started i was discharged from hospital for denggi..n now after 8 months im classed as denggi suspected...gosh.... 2moro bloood test results will seal it all...hope its for good....

Finally...its time for a post....

dirty, old, rusty,wordless,..yup it has been a while since i posted sumting in my blog...waited so long for this moment...had so many tings to blog...like events happening,heartbreaking moments,stressed out, n much more..but had to put on hold all this...cause...was waiting for da rite moment..but, wen da moment was rite..its modem problem plak..so finally..da time has come...yahoooooo...this is my 100th post...its a century... it has been a year since i opened this blog..one of my valuable asets in life...a place where im free to wirte,criticise people, pour out, n bla bla..so here it goes.................


H1N 1 ALERT

wearing mask...n .........googles???

H1n1 has caused da country in uproar.... malaysia is one of da countries with da highest rate of cases recorded daily..not forgetting da casualties 38....updated.till da time im blogging now..being in johor where highest cases of H1N1 is being recorded daily.this virus has statred spreading... n has not missed EC... 2 guys in f3 kena ...can b seen a clear situation in skool... teachers n students wearing mask... using sanitizers n some even takin vitamins to boost their immune system..why they are doing all this??? yeah they r doing this to keep themselves from being inflicted wif da disease.. n simply said... scared of death...... so papers n statistics says..about 20-30% of Malaysian will kena......all i can do is pray...

big n small....

hapi 19 bday gurl........

new pet in 6AC...rodents.... name???? i don wish to mention

no pornography..... dogs fucking... better watching this than wat happened in da morning


SENTHAMIZH PUTHIR

final arrangement before da big day.............

for da past one month.... my head was just like cracking... i guess it cracked too... headache everyday...tiring.. but it was such a relieve wen it was over...phew... i was doing so much work..it was like a one man show... running here n there..ample of times goin to da office to c pengetua..... was seriously down everyday... getting scolding..cing unsincere board members... n sum have to b forced to do da job.....had to get sponsors too... all i got was scolding...n ruthless comments saying im a useless leader n all.. i dun care...finally it was over ...had a few problems tat particular day...especially da explore race... two winner were declared at two different place...had to manage it.... sumtimes i do regret... making sum decisions ..i had to take risk n all.. but finally... erhemm'...people just cant understand ... attendance was pretty poor... about 100 i guess...was expecting 500.....laughter man......and after all was over...... yup a cup of teh tarik to put da finishing touches to it..... every sip brings a meaning... tats true ,its damn damn true....

national drink.... love every drop of it......


INTERNATIONAL UNDERSTANDING DAY(IU DAY)

a week after my event...it was time for my best buds event...... IUDAY... at spastic hall... i entered...err....heheh..censored....hahah...pravind was in jb 2... tat particular day had to rush there... had to sent mum to pelangi .... event was pretty good...but da food was very bad..it was resh's day(da sole reason why i went)..v cheered him throughout his speech..later on sumone missed for sumtime came..it was no ohter than Pyan.... love that guy...watched da performance and all..had sum quality time chatting wif pravind... dinesh didnt talk well tat day... dunno why..... i got award for da best dressed male...hahah generally because of my buckle.SUPERMAN.. it was my first n last IU day as a student... great job resh...

vemal,pravind,me n pyan

LOVE LIFE......

yeah... that wat has been bothering most for da past few weeks..i taught of giving it a break... after so many slacking..wanted to start afresh..but.... i guess its almost over..just like standing on a cliff wif one foot...many thigs happen in JUly...so many hertbreaking moments... things seen causing me emo... just imagine da gurl who u taught is ur life, da gurl who u taught will b there for u forever, da gurl who symbolise hapiness, da gurl u loved..is just no more for u... just can imagine tat...cause all i could tink is shes mine... but things not goin smooth as expected... hearing rumuors n all... saying..this n that..i dun believe anybody except u... but..u seem to show interest there too...i was relly down ... never that down in my 19 years of life... just cant do any work.. to make things worst ..manny things happend few days before senthamil puthir...especially wat happend wednesday... studies deteriorating... kept tinking..every single second of my life..im tinking of u..even now 9.85 pm 13/8/09..i dunno u no or not...but.... dunno wat to say... ur taughts deeply embended in my heart..sumtimes da question ...how i wished i was earlier...keeps playing..whatever it takes...hope u b hapi always..n to that guy...hope he keeps u well.....but whatever happens..u taughts n feeling will never b erased from my memory..every second i spent wif u ....migh have been irritating for u...but for me...every single moments is so memorable... many people ask whose tat gurl who caught ur eye... nevermind let it remain secret... i dunno u know what i m feeling r not...i dun wish to tell anyone this matter...as no one could help me..all of them buzy wif their love life...oni two souls understand me...no other than da twins......im still schocked.....i just cant bleieve it..i was going well rite..how come all of a sudden...things change so quickly..so down...tears dripping...i will never forget da adrenaline rush i had everytime i saw... n not to forget da first time v went out..all da slacking i did...n... is it game over..... some say its over, some say it has just started..n if u ask me...i say its complicated..i just relly dunno wats going on... im basically a coward....in this matter... whatever it takes...its goin to b over soon ... trial less than 3 week .. n im not even prepared...another screw up i guess..STPM 3 months time..dunno wat am i doin... there r many things i wanted to blog out..but dun seem to come out now..so thats all for now.... not to forget a band 3 for MUET..relly sick that time... LOVE SiCK....and a vodak last wednesday,..,all da best....