complicated.... love......

its just lame to blog bout the same things in life again n again..but guess wat... the saga continues... i always taught what i c in da movies is just fake...but when i got a first hand experience in it ....then i realised.... yup... i have gone through it 2.... the first time i saw u was last year.... first week of mei ..orientation... yup i agree its not love at first sight...i got to know u much from people..thats when da feelings blossomed... always i just wanted to say things to u...but talkin to u is just a problem.... my balls shrink, n definitely threre's n adrenaline rush...we texted each other...i believe da day i first text u is da day i started to annoy u.... even it may b da most irritating time of ur life,..... i enjoyed every single second n moment of it..i dunno if da feelings blosssomed in u or wat...but it definitely it grew in me... things went way round of wat was expected..... i started defocus in my life... amples of crapping, time wasted, n all.... all was in my mind is u.....after a year i was pretty confident .... things will go n well for u n me... but yup it turn all sour... nowdays u dont seem to layan me like those days u do...emoness feel my life..if u take in account n c each n every post i psoted in my blog...sure in sum part... u will b there..alll da heartbreaking moments, sweet ones n all... fuck.... i just can blurt out tings to u..im just to scared .... yup i paid da price for that...ur off n no more for me now...,.wen i saw that da first time ...i was so broken... man luck never seem to b on my side..sumtimes i tell to myself that its u or no life for me....but i have to b realistic now.... there is life after u....definitely..if tisis gone to..i have to rejuvenate.... yeah man....its GAME OVER... ur wif sumone who will cherish n take good care of u forever,,, while me ..... growing beard,...n on da verge of taking alcohol.... to forget u...but da wounds that have cut deep in my can never b treated......everytime... i stand up straight.... i say to myself i wanna talk to u... but when i c u...i just get scared of... n never do it...im basically a coward in my life...a coward who is just scared to approach u..the chances was taken by people...who i can say almost on da verge of victory...i have started living in da world that i believe u n me r together...but nope ...ur not meant for me... its just over...it will b easy said that i will forget you...but the truth is no...i just cant forget u.... when i was given da exam papers.....i just wanna write ur name on da answer sheeth... cause all i can think is ur name.,.... but beleive me...its nver goin to b easy....yup every single second of my life im tinking bout u...even to this particular second....i do want to tell u how i feeell..... but i just dun have da guts for it...... u will never understand me...but for sure one day u will know bout me...n wat im goin through ...da images , da sacrifice n a pain...its just complicated..... there it goes ..another tragic end of another story..... i just cant understand..... i had so many things in my heart to pour out..... everyday i have been suffering....but i guesss its da love for u which has blinded me....but ..haiz...u will never know anything.... tears dropping internally.... i guess i have to cherish the ones who .love me..than cherishing the ones i love who dun love me in back... gudbye....n LOVE U.forever..... i dedicate this post for u baby...... sayo nara..... n all da best in ur life.... unimaginable life...... sobz.......

Sick

throat swab n blood test results

nope...not sick of life, sick of love ,sick of people neitheir sick of skool...im sick now... it all started last week friday...after lepaking wif aiman... reached home quite late...by nite..my body was aching....my mom said i goin to get fever...my sis got fever two days ago... i went to sleep early tat morning.. da next day wen i got up.... i felt very heavy..body ached liked hell..i got up n got my self prepared to go for SDJ IU.. i was so weak ..after IU went tuition... nothing seem to enter my head... wen i reached home..i got myself changed n off i went to bed..dad woke me up n brought me to da clinic...da doctor took my temp n it was 38.8..oww goodness... i was afraid it was H1N1... he asked me not to worry n c wat happens next few days... today.. wen i got up...im still having fever...dad was worried n rushed me to da clinic... i was checked for H1N1..throat swab n blood test was taken...after a few minutes i was asked to c da dcotor again wif da results..wen i n my dad enterd da room..da doctor exclaimed..its not a good news..gosh all i could think was im infected..but it seems its not H1N1 but my blood platlets level has gone down significanlty...meanig it might b denggi...damn hell... just last january before da skool term started i was discharged from hospital for denggi..n now after 8 months im classed as denggi suspected...gosh.... 2moro bloood test results will seal it all...hope its for good....

Finally...its time for a post....

dirty, old, rusty,wordless,..yup it has been a while since i posted sumting in my blog...waited so long for this moment...had so many tings to blog...like events happening,heartbreaking moments,stressed out, n much more..but had to put on hold all this...cause...was waiting for da rite moment..but, wen da moment was rite..its modem problem plak..so finally..da time has come...yahoooooo...this is my 100th post...its a century... it has been a year since i opened this blog..one of my valuable asets in life...a place where im free to wirte,criticise people, pour out, n bla bla..so here it goes.................


H1N 1 ALERT

wearing mask...n .........googles???

H1n1 has caused da country in uproar.... malaysia is one of da countries with da highest rate of cases recorded daily..not forgetting da casualties 38....updated.till da time im blogging now..being in johor where highest cases of H1N1 is being recorded daily.this virus has statred spreading... n has not missed EC... 2 guys in f3 kena ...can b seen a clear situation in skool... teachers n students wearing mask... using sanitizers n some even takin vitamins to boost their immune system..why they are doing all this??? yeah they r doing this to keep themselves from being inflicted wif da disease.. n simply said... scared of death...... so papers n statistics says..about 20-30% of Malaysian will kena......all i can do is pray...

big n small....

hapi 19 bday gurl........

new pet in 6AC...rodents.... name???? i don wish to mention

no pornography..... dogs fucking... better watching this than wat happened in da morning


SENTHAMIZH PUTHIR

final arrangement before da big day.............

for da past one month.... my head was just like cracking... i guess it cracked too... headache everyday...tiring.. but it was such a relieve wen it was over...phew... i was doing so much work..it was like a one man show... running here n there..ample of times goin to da office to c pengetua..... was seriously down everyday... getting scolding..cing unsincere board members... n sum have to b forced to do da job.....had to get sponsors too... all i got was scolding...n ruthless comments saying im a useless leader n all.. i dun care...finally it was over ...had a few problems tat particular day...especially da explore race... two winner were declared at two different place...had to manage it.... sumtimes i do regret... making sum decisions ..i had to take risk n all.. but finally... erhemm'...people just cant understand ... attendance was pretty poor... about 100 i guess...was expecting 500.....laughter man......and after all was over...... yup a cup of teh tarik to put da finishing touches to it..... every sip brings a meaning... tats true ,its damn damn true....

national drink.... love every drop of it......


INTERNATIONAL UNDERSTANDING DAY(IU DAY)

a week after my event...it was time for my best buds event...... IUDAY... at spastic hall... i entered...err....heheh..censored....hahah...pravind was in jb 2... tat particular day had to rush there... had to sent mum to pelangi .... event was pretty good...but da food was very bad..it was resh's day(da sole reason why i went)..v cheered him throughout his speech..later on sumone missed for sumtime came..it was no ohter than Pyan.... love that guy...watched da performance and all..had sum quality time chatting wif pravind... dinesh didnt talk well tat day... dunno why..... i got award for da best dressed male...hahah generally because of my buckle.SUPERMAN.. it was my first n last IU day as a student... great job resh...

vemal,pravind,me n pyan

LOVE LIFE......

yeah... that wat has been bothering most for da past few weeks..i taught of giving it a break... after so many slacking..wanted to start afresh..but.... i guess its almost over..just like standing on a cliff wif one foot...many thigs happen in JUly...so many hertbreaking moments... things seen causing me emo... just imagine da gurl who u taught is ur life, da gurl who u taught will b there for u forever, da gurl who symbolise hapiness, da gurl u loved..is just no more for u... just can imagine tat...cause all i could tink is shes mine... but things not goin smooth as expected... hearing rumuors n all... saying..this n that..i dun believe anybody except u... but..u seem to show interest there too...i was relly down ... never that down in my 19 years of life... just cant do any work.. to make things worst ..manny things happend few days before senthamil puthir...especially wat happend wednesday... studies deteriorating... kept tinking..every single second of my life..im tinking of u..even now 9.85 pm 13/8/09..i dunno u no or not...but.... dunno wat to say... ur taughts deeply embended in my heart..sumtimes da question ...how i wished i was earlier...keeps playing..whatever it takes...hope u b hapi always..n to that guy...hope he keeps u well.....but whatever happens..u taughts n feeling will never b erased from my memory..every second i spent wif u ....migh have been irritating for u...but for me...every single moments is so memorable... many people ask whose tat gurl who caught ur eye... nevermind let it remain secret... i dunno u know what i m feeling r not...i dun wish to tell anyone this matter...as no one could help me..all of them buzy wif their love life...oni two souls understand me...no other than da twins......im still schocked.....i just cant bleieve it..i was going well rite..how come all of a sudden...things change so quickly..so down...tears dripping...i will never forget da adrenaline rush i had everytime i saw... n not to forget da first time v went out..all da slacking i did...n... is it game over..... some say its over, some say it has just started..n if u ask me...i say its complicated..i just relly dunno wats going on... im basically a coward....in this matter... whatever it takes...its goin to b over soon ... trial less than 3 week .. n im not even prepared...another screw up i guess..STPM 3 months time..dunno wat am i doin... there r many things i wanted to blog out..but dun seem to come out now..so thats all for now.... not to forget a band 3 for MUET..relly sick that time... LOVE SiCK....and a vodak last wednesday,..,all da best....

whats happening????????????

past few days have been really hectic...having prefects orientation for lower six n f4... dunnnolah ..this people r here for one reason oni..its just for da sake of name n power.that goes through..for this past few days..i have been really hot tempered.... scolding junior n my fellow board members...things are not going well 2...senthamil puthir preparation goin freakin slow...amid its just few days away...fuck shit...yesterday was wednesday... so with this new botak hairstyle..n small janggut i step in skool compound wif BSMM shirt.. pretty boring day... during recess there was this guy who wanted to fight wif dorai.. luckily managed to stop...haiz... had mpm..afta mpm went up... i could c da chinese community in f6 gahtering in classes... must b some so called meeting...gurpreet forced me into da BSMM meeting.. waited n finally da meeting started..like always...these people..so uncivilised.. talkin in mandrin... fucklah..im an induren here...cant u c...yeah they did sent sumone to translate..come on lah... this has been goin on for years...eversince i was in form 4..not oni here...but even in district level..got to recall....thfew years back..this is the time wen i n kavij established ANTI RACISM LAGUE>>inside a camp near blok dekat astaka yang sekarang sudah takde.i wonder..wheteher im stranded in china or wat... english is da universal language ..then why use mandrin when sum non-chinese r here...woi..if cannot speak .. then go to foon yew skool lah..this is English College man... sedih sial...errrkkkk.....was pissed ..so just lashed out n went tepian tebrau wif alaga...ate there..before heading back to skool to attend orientasi sebelah petang..on da way singgah kat jeti...got geng fight...its indians vs malays... sad man...wen is all this goin to end... will concept of one malaysia suceed if this keeps goin on...racism everywhere...fuck ...fuck...fuck... 2day a thursday... so packed..after recess Pn.oo entered... she was emo..scolded my classmartes...i oso kena..after that i emo plak... damn things kept bothering my mind..lashed out of class... had small briefing wif f1 n f2 prefects,,,,sure make those guys hapi...felt better..waited for resh ..n ujun to go makan..but they were late.. so drove to bindus..didnt eat..just sipped tea..each sip brough in various taughts... life is tough..stpm comin soon..not serious....damn...... sayo nara adios...

its time for a break.....

peaceful taman......majidee park

mom's favourite plant..african fern..

flowers every 50 years once...still waiting

its goin to rain soon.............

thats really a huge tosai....its called paper tosai...

mee goreng MUTTON

mee hon goreng vegetarian

roti tisu

restoran vaanavil..buka 24 jam...

today n yesterday was full of emotions.... despair, heartburn, sick, hurting, n much more...fianally got da solution...all i need is just a break...n start back better than ever..for sure..stand up like a man n fight for what i want..thats true.. but now its just a break ,............. so than rather snapping pics of events n people..n etc..its time for sum pics of my own taman ...n not to forget da food.... all right people...im back , better n stronger than ever... i will win this time...confidences soaring high.....there's no defeat..i know what i want n no one can stop me from gettin it....IM BACK... this is my 98th post... dunno wen i will b loggin after this...so ...its time for a BREAK NOW..c ya soon

canteeeeeeen dayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice..nice...henna

perfect parking by a rider who loves this phrase

"its not bout the ride but its bout the rider"

first pinch some....

next feed each other......best chappati i ever had...

fed by a lovable person

mari beli DVD by bryan....... dorai look on....

while thiva's hair catches da camera again

a caterpillar...secret of sucesss for da tasty curry...wakkaka

kiddin oni

got up at 6.00 am.Its a saturday..n its a school day as v have to ganti 4 hari raya..its goin 2 b a galore in E.C.. its canteen day in conjunction wif Hari Koperasi. Went ronda wif alex in da morning. then headed to my stall..got in some tables ...had to run to f6 block..to get in tables.what a phew of sweat..on da way to my stall i found sumtin that look familiar to me...it looked brown ...n was a bit ugly..wait......... of course its not shit...its science club tickets.. two movie tickets for da movie nite at the museum... some poor chap must have lost it.. after that headed to dinamik for chem.. torrid time there.. gave da tickets i found to eeling..after chem took my stuffs n headed to my stall. the heat of canteen day was picking up...shouted all i could..this n that..peak of my voice promoting my food..tamil society sold.. vadai, chapati, choc milk, papadam(no one bought just that ujun n gurpreet curi n makan for da papadams)....had games too like carom n darts 2..not to forget mahendi corner..doin hennna.. wakaka.. today had explore race 2..hasib was talkin big as usual... wen da race started, v gave all v got...goin checkpoint by checkpoint..i even slipped a few time..injured my hands..but da spirit kept igniting.. finally reached da final checkpoint first..but its always setback in the end..v did not get enough clue.have to blame da fasi as they werent efficient n there was so much trouble. like always hasib lost again...so da old proverb goes on da empty vessel makes the most noise... fianally v had to settle for second place.... was given prize by karthik at dewan.. took a photo too.by da time v came back the sales was superb hot..vadai was sellin like hot cakes.... superb.henna superb 2..da st.john were back 2 from their trip.. walked here n there, sold this n that, met people.. heart lup dup deeper.....shouting to da top of da voice..n competiton form stalls ard., sharing n feeding, n much more unexplainable stuffs relates me da best canteen day in EC....da last one as a student...headed to tuiton ard 2.30pm.reached late..after tuition went to leasuire mall 2 watch transformer..but was detested by dad..so had makan at MCD b4 heading home.. a superb day of my life which will never b forgotten.. days are numbered.. STPm comin,142 days.school life's comin to an end 2..so what i can say more or less... lets enjoy all v could... love u gurl much more than anything..no matter u dunt want to c me or talk...my love for u never fades.. last but not at da least..thanks tlls society members(expect a few....) who were there helping n sweating for da club..love all of u... not to forget da ones who made da whole event much perfect till da pick of perfectionist...resh,shan, ..eugene.kathikzzzz.n many more hidding behinde da scenes... thank u so much..not to forget...da king of por passed way,,,,may michael jackson R.I.P...love ya 2cheeriomate

every drop of blood counts..............

today was someday i describe as down , down ,n down... reached skool on time.. went for da usual ronda wif alex...captain wont b here till tuesday.. had briefing.. lashed out everything that was in my mind.. not to forget da F-letter word..intorduced a new system called PREFECTS EVALUATION SYSTEM(P.S.E) just like da KPI..on ministers... entered class late.. it was maths 2 ..wat else can i say... gonelah..i dunt understand anyting already.. followed by bio..tried concentrating.. but just cant.. then came a a bsmm n st.john member ..inviting us to donate blood...met resh n had a few words wif him before entering da dewan..st john members n bsmm members were everywhere..very dedicated to their job....after da blood n pressure check...was given da green light to donate blood..waited anxiously...finally my turn to donate..donated 450??? definitely can b litters....saw a few things which kept me even down..haizdunno man im confused...fuck offlah... was still buzy wif stuffs eventhough was donating blood..after da hospital attendant removed da needle ..i rushed to get up..but was asked to sit n relax for 5 min..wan qing helped me ...n put on a plaster...thank u gurl... then rushed to bilik pengawas.. took da interview book..settled da stuff..rushed to form 6 block ..met resh there wen i realised that my hand was bleeding... the blood was flowing non-stop.. resh rushed me to da dewan..its was time for help...nehh.. pn selva malar was there to assist...while da St.john n bsmm members just look on or shall i say buat bodoh...... wat a disheartening thing..its pointless keeping stars or crown ...or even stripes...wen u dunt know how to treat people..or b alert of whats happening....i though they were so called MBBS degrees holders..form the way they reacted to few incidents lately..shame on u..all donors was suppose to b given food..after donating blood..but da ding dong who was incharge of distributing food..was buzy wif sumtin...that guy must b da worst mangkuk jamban i had ever seen in my life....sobz... could not concentrate in class eitheir... ponteng maths. 1. after skool met pengetua minta kebenaran for senthamil puthir.must say that one of da ladies in da office was damn kurang ajar..... had club meeting b4 buzzing off to tuiton... dad kena saman today ...just for da sake of wanting to fetch me from tuiton... H1N1 has attacked jb...convent n SDJ kena already..so when is EC.? that will mean holidays..... hahah.. not performing well 2 nowdays.. sad.. heart's not rite.. whylah? dun seem to get education as well MPWF..sad n sayo nara...........

aftermath of the holidays

monday was da day i was lookin foward..its a new term of skooling...planned n decided many improvements in myselff n all...n guess wat...its a slack after all.... first slack.... got up late ..da particular morning.. reached skool..had perhimpunan..... n my blazer is not here yet...sum ding dong borrowed it but havent return it to me... finally one guy came.... its no other than ungku salleh's son..gave my blazer..i was lazy to wear ...look very fat in blazer summore.. so left it in bilik pengawas... kena sound from pengetua for that.. normah too didnt miss da action.. slacked in perhimpunan too..wat a humilating morning.. heard a gurl fainted durin assembly... hehe no worries got St.john to handle...professionals.. who consider themselves doctors...haiz.. but still i tink da best to wake sum1 when they faint is just a simple sprinkle of water on da face..a traditional indian method most of da time seen in movies.. day was not goood after all.. tuesday.. was ok...i heard there was a problem in Dinamik... cause of U.A.. haiz bila lah nak insaf..the week was bad after all.. but got sum input i must say.. but studies wise,,, it was time for mid year exam results... got 1 B- 2c+ n 1D+..pointer 2.1 sumtin..n im targetting a 4 flat for stpm.... failed maths...comin to think that i slept wen maths 2..yalah..didnt sleep da whole nite..watcin man u champions league final.. kalah seh...sobz...hmmm..not impossible but a da same time not easy ..... it ran so fast.. 149 days left for stpm..not even prepared at all..or better said never did any preparation...next week goin to b buzy after all... startin from monday ..lagi teruk..got orientasi, kantin day, interview n all...... 2day was in cs ..lepak all da way alone...nice 2..lonely world..deep thought entering mind n all..a remarkable bad week.. hope for a better one ...pray for me...

................

MENUJU ASPIRASI 4 FLAT..................

CGPA:4.00

4A

Seminar STPM kebangsaan SMC (UM)

Event: Seminar STPM Kebangsaan anjuran SMC
Date: 5,6,7/6/09
Place: Universiti Malaya( Fakulti Sains, Sastera, Akademi Pengajian Melayu)



Day 1(5/6/09)
Yes...yes ..yes..its another seminar..this time ard..its in UM.... so it was an early morning for me. Got up around 4.45 am..could not sleep well da whole nite..very excited bout da day.. after washing up..dresssed up n off i went to SRK(T) Yayha Awal..its da pick up point..was said that we were supposed to b there punctual at 6a.m. as da bus will leave sharp at that time..wen i reaced..yeah..i hate to say this but its indian timing.. the bus was not even there.. da bus came ard 6.15 am..but v still cant depart.. as one of our students met in an accident ..its Vivyah.. so had to wait for her..she suffered minor injuries oni.. so ard 7.30 am v left. picked a few other student s a t skudai n off v went.. to Kl.. alaga broke a secret to me..it was a horror to me..a great shock.... slept a bit in da bus.. reaced UM ard...1.30.. was given instruction by da Fasilitator.. we were placed at Kolej 3 checked in our dorm..man..da facilities here is way far bad compared to what i got in UTM..cant complain much as this is da oldest uni in Malaysia.. so rested a while before going for lunch..Had our first seminar at Akademi Pengajian Melayu..Bilik Kuliah..(forgot)..cool... got to cuci mata abit..first seminar was Bout P.A. .cool i must say da teacher.. v had to walk to da various different dewan kuliah for different seminar..this is to give an account of uni students life.. after tea had to go for bio semianr at Fakulti Sastera..an antique building i must say..as da tables b chairs were still made of wood..very hot too..had two hours of bio before having dinner..then continued wif bio..it was boring.. met a senior named Agilan.he was doin bio-medicine.. in USM.. ver nice guy.his name is Agilan.after bio ended headed to KoleJ 3..was given drinks..before v headed to our room to sleep.

Universiti Malaya... could not get da best pic.. so this what i can get...

Kolej 3...where v stayed

the dormitories

getting a short nap b4 heading for seminar...while

down there Senthil takes a deep breath

No malay,no chinese,no indian....Just One Malaysia


Day 2(6/6/09)

Got up early in da morning ard 5.30 am..cleaned up... i set da theme for myself..black n white..i dressed up in that theme..even my socks..had breakfast..then walked to fakulti Sastera again. had Maths for two hours..pretty good.. then had a light refreshment.. then had another two hours of maths before lunch.. after lunch a few undergraduate studnts came in n shared some of their experience .. followed by Prof.Dato. DR. Thambirajah inspirational speech .had tea break before chemistry seminar..very good to.. had dinner before continuation of another two hours of chemistry..seminar ended ard 10pm..we walked to our kolej kediaman.. today v were not asked to go to sleep instead was asked to go to Dewan makan.,. Dato S.K devamany was there.. he gave a beautiful speech.it was malam kebudayaan..had alot of food..i walloped alot of ice cream..mayb 10 cups..haha.. fantastic nite.. later on went to sleep.. but could not do so..something's wrong wif alaga.. after a while its all great for alaga..today is da day he will never forget in his life..its... da day he found his ****....congrats bapok...hahaha..slept ard 3am..

UM's rubbish bin

malam kebudayaan...guess who's that tall guy?

everyone enjoying

Day 3(7/6/09)

last day ..got up a t 6.45am..latest compared to all the other students..cool..i was da last one to wash up.. had breakfast...i must say here that..i ate like hell all this three days,..double or triple the amount i used to eat...fatlah me..walked to Fakulti Sains.. Had seminar for PA2.... great teacher... but i was so sleepy..yalah slept oni for a few hours last nite..suddenly my fon beeped..it was karthik.. the msg stated his latest quote LIFE IS A FUCKIN JOKE...BUT U R THE FUCK 1..as he asked me to put this in myblog.. here u go man u wish accomplished..before heading for recess..from each SMC centre nationwide, two students were called ..my name was called as well..i though they need some help..to carry food or wat..but no..it was.... i was awarded top student award for UP 2.. great how on earth did i do that...wen i barely anwered two Q for maths...thats what i call GOD"S GREAT... had ligh refreshment where i took it as an advance lunch...after that..had some motivational speech n was given da best student award..out of 20 students...oni 2 were boys n one of them was me. hehe.. was wished good luck by all of them..took photos n headed back to kolej 3 where had lunch..n cleaned room before logging off... great stay..took bus n da journey back home started... chatted n sl;ept all da way...stopped a t pagoh a while where we camwhored a while..reached jb at 7.30pm..great stay.,..

great seminar.....have 2 admit im wasting my holidays playing n all...4 months left..not prepared at all...but lets forget that...one ting that plays in my mind now is 4 flat....MENUJU ASPIRASI 4 Flat which was chanted in UM keeps playing n has been buried deep down my heart... yeah next time i come UM ..its definitely with a file ... n with an application form...thats not very long .............but thats next year.... c u soon UM

seminar pengajian AM

our room before v left

overgrown children

sori forgot to capture in night mode

babylona

apelagi....da most loving guy..satish n me

im da next bond..yugan on my left n baps on my right

alaga n satish

up n down

never been in a playground b4 i guess

talk no evil, hear no evil, see no evil

its all a waste if there is no lame posers

EXTRA
8/6/09

was goin to melaka..while on da way saw this accident which i capture

wow......... kereta terbalik..........