major screw up....its nasi campur...

first of all...im damn blooody hell...relieved tat this crappy formatif 2 has just ended... cuntetlah... feel tat im stress free now... what i got to say ..nothing much... i screwed again in this test.... yup its too early to tell as i have not received da results... but its real... for da first time in ec history of my life.... i did not study for this test... worst of all... i did not know there was a change in timetable 4 da test...i oni knew bout chem n maths a day earlier...n for P.A 1 ..lagi worst..i oni knew there was this test on tat particular morning wen the test was suppose to be taking place... no wonder i felt weird cing f6 students... readin pa 1 book wen it was suppose to b da next day... it seems i was wrong ... great ...that made my mood from bad to worst...wack infancy..... n yeah yesterday... i was trying to read bio... it dont seem to enter my head.. why???? dun know... feeling lazy.. tinkin bout her...n lolness.... wtf.... im crazy man....i screwed up my lower six n now... fuck...im playin da fool around this year... its like just less than 7 ,months... oh GOD... i know no one can help me... unless myself... its just my attitude... that keeps me goin like this ... oh bitch...man..... u look at me n buat bodoh... im goin to do da same..2 u baby... people do say to me....tat i must make da approach.. as im da guy... yeah i did make da move...many times ...tiny... steps..i was goin smooth.. i burned everthing ...sacrificied many things 4 u... even studies... but i dun mind cause its 4 u.... i admire u.. i like u ...n want da oppurtinity to love u aswell... but i doubt will u give it to me... im worried u might b snatched away...but i know u belong to me... haiz...i oni can write all this in my brother blog..not anywhere else... while im pouring out here this time... u might b in bed having a short nap... morever the weather now so good for da comfort n soothe of ur pleasure...n i know u love to sleeeeeeppppp(tidur) in one corner of this world i spent relentlessly hours thinking bout u everyday...while u.. ahahahahahahahahahahah i wonder whether u will even tink of me for a second.... haiz... i dun know... gurl... wen all this goin to b resolved... day by day intensity becoming stronger... but faternity becoming weaker... making matter worst im so coward... talking to u in a virtual world....cant even.. talk to u face to face...n wen im face to face wif...u ...u dont c me... what a great chemsitry...wen i walk past u...i bent my head n look towards da earth... its not that i respect u..its just that im damn bloody shy..... nowdays i dun even smile or utter a single word to u...u might tinkin that im too proud...but nehhh... i dun know what u tink bout me till now... whats true that i know u dun have a single dot of feelings 4 me....... thats true... i can c it n feel it...few more months..n skools over..n its almost certain ..its all over... that might b da last time i c ya... da very last time..... great...i dun know where its goin to end.... im not makin da move..keep tinking at da same time neglecting my studies.....gosh i dun want to cry one day... as mum always provokes me... gor choosing f6...i promise this time...that what i want to achieve...i will definitely achieve...tats for real... i know what i want to achieve...this time its do first n thent talk... its relly goin to happen ...tats a promise.......... studies comes first.... n.... deep inmy heart ...ur there......broken n broken for many times...im still strong...i giving all i got in my life to get u...i never approached anyone llike this especially a gurl like this in my life.........what da hell lah...u know this are not.........wow... ...u might say nothing beats da power of love....no factors ...no factors at all..but whats true.... its does play a role... ..u know i know n GOD knows... i do suck... in appearance n everthing ...but...its all fuck.... damn damn...how long must i wait...4 eva...sure no problem... anything for u.... i hope one day u will understand all this...u know why im stiill not putting da correct steps into it..cause i want u to suceed in studies too... im being blogging so many times bout u... till some of my frens come an ask me ...who r u... my answer to them ...wait ...wait...time is not rite... fucklah wen time will b rite...its never rite for me... im dreaming of perfect score 4 stpm ...with this lackadesical attitude n spirit... not even passes can b expected...i write..... talk n talk but im not doin a single fucking thing...aspiring to b da top student in my skool...ahhaahhaha....im laughing to myself...i say to myself ...fuck off...... back to u...all da time i dun want to c ya... u appear to me..... if ur not meant ...for me...i can t help it... but i do have da strong feeling that ur meant for me...... feeling n feeeling being poured.. haiz...... am i that bad i ask u.... i do all i could........ mayb u know everthign bout me... cause people do talk ... u just waitin for da time.,..for me to open n all u want to do is REJECT... am i prepared 4 it?? what i tell people is...im prepared...but seriously not at alllll...... FUCK FUCK FUCK... i dun know how im goin to face all this... serious shit............im confused in this world... tinking why am i born into this world....there wen my self create... quote... comes by..... LIFE SUCKS LOVE FUCKS