complicated.... love......

its just lame to blog bout the same things in life again n again..but guess wat... the saga continues... i always taught what i c in da movies is just fake...but when i got a first hand experience in it ....then i realised.... yup... i have gone through it 2.... the first time i saw u was last year.... first week of mei ..orientation... yup i agree its not love at first sight...i got to know u much from people..thats when da feelings blossomed... always i just wanted to say things to u...but talkin to u is just a problem.... my balls shrink, n definitely threre's n adrenaline rush...we texted each other...i believe da day i first text u is da day i started to annoy u.... even it may b da most irritating time of ur life,..... i enjoyed every single second n moment of it..i dunno if da feelings blosssomed in u or wat...but it definitely it grew in me... things went way round of wat was expected..... i started defocus in my life... amples of crapping, time wasted, n all.... all was in my mind is u.....after a year i was pretty confident .... things will go n well for u n me... but yup it turn all sour... nowdays u dont seem to layan me like those days u do...emoness feel my life..if u take in account n c each n every post i psoted in my blog...sure in sum part... u will b there..alll da heartbreaking moments, sweet ones n all... fuck.... i just can blurt out tings to u..im just to scared .... yup i paid da price for that...ur off n no more for me now...,.wen i saw that da first time ...i was so broken... man luck never seem to b on my side..sumtimes i tell to myself that its u or no life for me....but i have to b realistic now.... there is life after u....definitely..if tisis gone to..i have to rejuvenate.... yeah man....its GAME OVER... ur wif sumone who will cherish n take good care of u forever,,, while me ..... growing beard,...n on da verge of taking alcohol.... to forget u...but da wounds that have cut deep in my can never b treated......everytime... i stand up straight.... i say to myself i wanna talk to u... but when i c u...i just get scared of... n never do it...im basically a coward in my life...a coward who is just scared to approach u..the chances was taken by people...who i can say almost on da verge of victory...i have started living in da world that i believe u n me r together...but nope ...ur not meant for me... its just over...it will b easy said that i will forget you...but the truth is no...i just cant forget u.... when i was given da exam papers.....i just wanna write ur name on da answer sheeth... cause all i can think is ur name.,.... but beleive me...its nver goin to b easy....yup every single second of my life im tinking bout u...even to this particular second....i do want to tell u how i feeell..... but i just dun have da guts for it...... u will never understand me...but for sure one day u will know bout me...n wat im goin through ...da images , da sacrifice n a pain...its just complicated..... there it goes ..another tragic end of another story..... i just cant understand..... i had so many things in my heart to pour out..... everyday i have been suffering....but i guesss its da love for u which has blinded me....but ..haiz...u will never know anything.... tears dropping internally.... i guess i have to cherish the ones who .love me..than cherishing the ones i love who dun love me in back... gudbye....n LOVE U.forever..... i dedicate this post for u baby...... sayo nara..... n all da best in ur life.... unimaginable life...... sobz.......